From the time I was pregnant

When we first found out that I was pregnant, we were overjoyed… then when i hit my fifth month, dr scanned the little one inside of me and said that ‘it’ was a girl.. I’m not going to lie, deep inside me, I wanted a boy.. i was somewhat crushed.. ok ok. I was really crushed.. somehow, back then, thinking that having a boy would be so much easier.. no bf troubles, no pms, no explaining about period, and no worry of her getting pregnant young..

but now, after almost 11 months of having Arianna, we’re thrilled that we have a girl instead [although she is as rough and tough as a boy]….. she’s such a joy to have around.. such a smart little girl and mostly, such a loving and cheeky little thing that nothing she does can get us really angry at her, for she knows how to grab her parents hearts by her little finger…

It’s hard to believe that come next sunday, she will be 11 months old.. and then 1 year old come december.. I have a feeling that I might actually cry on her birthday.. not tears of sadness.. but tears of happiness and joy.. to see my little one growing up before my very eyes is a blessing… I get to see her do everything first.. from her first smile, to her first steps..

Last night, I had trouble sleeping, as I watched Clint and Arianna sleep, something caught my eye… they were holding hands! while sleeping! such a cute sight…

When she wakes up in the morning, she looks to make sure mummy is still next to her, touches my face and then proceeds to wake her daddy up… this morning, clint got up earlier than her and when she woke up and found him m.i.a.. she started crying.. she’s really her daddy’s little girl..

You should see how she crawls full speed ahead in the evenings when she hears her fathers bike at the gate.. she get ever so excited to know that he’s home.. and even when adik gets back she gets excited.. to her, just knowing that everyone is home, and that there are more people to give her attention is wonderful…

Seeing her grow, from that tiny baby she was, till now, my little girl… has been a terrific journey.. I know many mothers that would die to stay home and take care of their kids, but not everyone can afford to. that’s why, I thank God in a million ways,

for giving me a beautiful, smart, healthy baby.
for giving me the strength and patience to take care of her and manage what i need
for my parents for giving me the support i need
for adik who helps me out ever so often
for Clint, being understanding and for realizing that he is a father and his daughter needs him and for loving her and myself with all his heart.

Arianna, may you grow up to be someone..someone important, someone special in may peoples hearts.. may you have all the luck and health in the world, and may wealth follow you when the time is right.. but remember my dear baby girl, mummy and daddy will always love you even if you dont have all that mummy has stated above.. you will always be our baby.. and we will try our very best, not to let anything happen to you, anyone break your heart, but in time, you will learn that the many things in life, you will have to learn, and experience for yourself.. mummy and daddy will always be here to guide you in times where you feel lost or not knowing what to do..

just like grandpa and grandma have always been there for mummy.. in good times.. and bad…

Words don’t come easy

Been feeling like crap for the past few days

PMS?

maybe.

Anger?

maybe.

Frustrated?

maybe.

Lonely?

maybe.

Bored?

maybe.

Annoyed?

maybe.

Sad?

maybe.

Words don’t come easy for me to blog how I actually feel.

Maybe, all I need, is……

nevermind.

whatever.

I don’t need to take in all the crap.

Why?

because i sure as hell don’t deserve this kind of treatment or attitude.

I’m tired.

From the time Arianna gets up, till the time she goes to bed.. she needs me….

I’m tired.

Whole body hurts from carrying her around most of the time.

I’m tired.

head hurts from the constant having to think about everyone else.

I’m tired.

My mind has not been like it used to.

Getting forgetful.

Can’t remember things like I used to.

Early signs of Alzhimers?

Maybe.

Will I get through this?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Nothing is about me these days.

Everyone else matters more than myself.

And yet..

It’s never enough.

people keep wanting more.

can’t see me just lying there trying to rest.

no.

need attention.

what about me?

am I hoping for the best?

maybe.

maybe not.

Am i hoping this crap will end?

maybe.

maybe not.

Am I hoping that people will stop being so selfish?

maybe.

All I know is,

in time,

if nothing changes,

I hope I’m no longer here.

Am i hoping to leave in my sleep?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Maybe.

10 months old tomorrow

Arianna is gonna be 10 months old tomorrow.. how fast time flies these days.. actually the years are flying by pretty darn fast too! it’s already nearing 2010…

in the past 10 months, we’ve wanted Arianna to explore, adventure and to experience things for herself..

So far, this is what i can remember in the 10 months that she’s been here

- rolled over at 3 months
- started crawling when she was 5 months
- fell off the bed at 6 months
- started super crawling at 6.5 months
- has been to the beach
- has celebrated lantern festival
- can already stand and inch about
- can sing
- babbles non stop
- got the measles at 8 months
- food poisoning from that darn mcd ice cream at 9 months
- first iv drip inserted at 9 months
- can unhook the gate latch [learnt that last week]
- etc etc etc

Thats how much she’s learned in the 10 months. I bet there are more but i just cant remember them to list em out right now

Well, Tomorrow, marks another month gone by

2 more months and she will be a year old

Happy 10 months Birthday Arianna

love you tons baby girl

Oh the joy

this was sent to me with the caption..

“hey isn’t this dude your ex??”

What i love most about it is that is says

Ability : HOPELESS!!

ahahahhaha

something interesting to make my day

FOR SALE!!!

SOLD

Kawasaki Versys [Candy burnt Orange in colour]

Model : 2007

Registered : 2008

Mileage: 26,000km

Used: One and a half years

Bloody good condition

Comes with:

- Side Bags

- Scotoiler

- Puig Screen

Number plate: WRB 9710

Reason for selling: No longer need such a powerful bike as it is only used to travel to work now that we have a kid.

Asking price: RM 43,000 [can nego]

Call for details or to view

Chris 016-6339977

Clint 016-3971008

URGENT sale.

SERIOUS BUYERS ONLY.

Red marbles

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean,
hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.`

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas.. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn’t help overhearing the conversation
between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

‘Hello Barry, how are you today?’

‘H’lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus’ admirin’ them peas. They sure
look good.’

‘They are good, Barry. How’s your Ma?’

‘Fine.. Gittin’ stronger alla’ time.’

‘Good. Anything I can help you with?’

‘No, Sir. Jus’ admirin’ th em peas.’

‘Would you like to take some home?’ asked Mr. Miller.

‘No, Sir. Got nuthin’ to pay for ‘em with.’

‘Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?’

‘All I got’s my prize marble here.’

‘Is that right? Let me see it’ said Miller.

‘Here ’tis.. She’s a dandy.’

‘I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?’ the store owner asked.

‘Not zackley but almost.’

‘Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble’. Mr. Miller told the boy.

‘Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.’

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile she said, ‘There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn’t like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.’

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho
community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white
shirts…all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller,standing composed and smiling by her husband’s casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue
eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband’s bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

‘Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim ‘traded’ them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size….they came to pay their debt.’

‘We’ve never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,’ she confided, ‘but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man
in Idaho ..’

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband.

Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral :
We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

I HATE MY NEIGHBORS!

I seriously have gotten to the point where I absolutely hate my neighbors..

Everytime Arianna is down for her nap, that bloody kid next door starts screaming her head off

Imagine an almost 2 year old girl, screaming and crying on top of her lungs at 6.30am!!! argh!!! piss off!

Then when Arianna wants to go to bed night, the bloody parents let the girl out to the compound of their house and yet again.. she starts SCREAMING HER BLOODY HEAD OFF!

I don’t care anymore.. ONE MORE TIME! thats all I’m giving them and i’m calling the child abuse hotline..

Why the hell can’t they shut her up and tell her to stop screaming? no one bothers to talk to her or tell her nicely that she shouldn’t be screaming like that..

She’s even screaming as i type this! stupid prick of a kid… and Arianna is napping, but has a frown on her face.. i can bet that she’ll be up any minute.. because of that stupid kid next door..

Seriously.. test my patience and thats it..

That’s why I don’t freaking bother to talk to them when I see them outside.. what is the point of talking to people who don’t care about their neighbors?

I have a great mind to blast the TV freakingly loud so that we can’t hear them.. but if I do that, Arianna won’t be able to sleep.

Shit neighbors.

hate this place.

freaking uncivilized useless pricks.

ps: does anyone know who else I can report them to other than the child abuse hotline?

[well since she's always screaming and crying i can just tell them that something is happening]

Updates

2 Sundays ago, we woke up early and headed to Port Dickson.. Arianna was so happy the minute she got out of the car.. She looked at the sea and started getting excited.. when we found a place to sit, Clint took her down to the sea and well, at first, she was scared to see the waves coming at her.. but then Clint put her feet on the sand, and let the waves roll onto her feet, and from then on, she loved it! all smiles! then before heading back, we saw horses! she wasn’t scared of them at all!

For pictures, here’s the link [something is wrong with wordpress.]

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=134779&id=801488437&l=e3edaf7861

Last weekend, my parents came up for a visit and as usual, Arianna spent time with her grandparents.. she is a real cheeky little thing.. when grandma carries her, she wants grandpa, when grandpa carries her, she wants grandma..

Other than that, nothing much has been happening..Arianna can crawl pretty fast and now, clint and Arianna have 2 games they play
everyday.. 1 is Arianna chasing daddy.. clint crawls on the floor and arianna chases him.. the other one is on the bed.. they stack all the pillows to make a “hill” then Arianna looks for Clint.. oh my goodness she can really laugh when they play…

Not sure what we will be up to this weekend…

We decided that we should take trips more often so that Arianna can “widen her horizons”.. so many places to go to:

Lumut
Cherating [to see baby turtles]
Camerons
Genting [when she's much bigger and can sit on the rides by herself]
Desaru
etc etc

As long as we have the time, and the $$ we will take her anywhere

7 months old today!

The little princess is 7 months old today

So much joy.. so much laughter…

She can babble, crawl, stand, climb, stand on her own for about 5 seconds, pretend to cry.. etc etc…

We love you Arianna..

ps: 5 more months and you’ll be a year old

Gigi & Heart attack

Arianna’s teething!!! yay!! but the thing is, BOTH her bottom middle teeth are coming out AT THE SAME TIME! can you imagine how grouchy and whiny she is? o.m.g.

We also bought her her very own bed after that fall she had a few nights ago, no freaking way am I ever letting her fall again.. tu la.. mak cakap tak mo dengar.. degil.. kan dah jatuh dari katil…

I was fast asleep.. dead to the world, and Clint got up to go to the bathroom.. all I remember was that she was next to me asleep.. next thing i know “bang” followed by “waaaaaaaaaaaaa”

but she’s ok.. did the necessary checks.. most importantly, I didn’t let her go right to sleep after the fall.. might be concussion.. so talked to her for a bit, checked her soft spot, checked her body for any signs of marks, checked for mobility of limbs, checked gums.. everything ok… and as long as she could smile and go bababa means everything was fine… but I did watch out for other signs the next day such as vomiting or cirit birit.. but nope.. nothing

thank God.. tough little cookie this one.. and to think she would have learned her lesson and to be scared of going near the edges of the bed… but NOOOOoooooo.. the next morning… back to the edge she went.. sigh.. she definitely got this stubbornness and don’t-care-what-happened-last-night-let’s-do-it-again attitude from me….

Geram! She can be a little sweetheart, and a little terror at the same time! But she’s still my little girl